Part One: How to Manage the Pressures and Expectations of Early Parenthood
You read the recommended books and attend birthing and parenting classes. You fill their future bedroom with everything they could possibly need. You feel ready. And yet, is it possible to be truly prepared for the pressures and expectations of early parenthood?
Parents-to-be often believe that their life won’t be that different with children, that the new baby will simply “slot” into their lives. They don’t realise that this stage of life involves “massive” changes and can be “all-consuming.” In fact, many new parents describe the shift as a “shock.”
I hear similar sentiments from clients at my practice, many of whom are struggling with postnatal depression. Through our sessions, I see a clear link between their diagnosis and high expectations, high anxiety, and self-criticism.
Three Tips to Help You Handle the Pressures of Parenting
With these thoughts in mind, in today’s blog post, I want to offer you some encouragement and reassurance. Below, I share three tips for the overwhelmed parents of newborns, infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.
1. Seek support from others: I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten the importance of community, and many parents feel isolated and alone because of it. It’s important to both you and your baby or toddler that you have a solid system of support. Whether it’s your extended family, friends in a similar phase of life, or a local moms group, now is the time to start building your community. This tip will continue to be important as your child grows.
2. Focus on what you can control: You’re doing the best you can, right? Well, that’s all that matters! When you feel self-doubt or a sense of failure creeping in, think about everything you did right instead of focusing on what went wrong. It’s time to normalise bad days. Every day will be a little bit different than the day before, which means some days will feel harder than others — and that’s okay.
Why You Need to Find Your Own Way
3. Figure out what makes you the best version of yourself: Oftentimes, we allow others to set expectations for us. It’s important to find your own way, though! For instance, you may find yourself striving to keep your house tidy at all times “because other moms manage it.” Instead of constantly picking up after your toddler, try setting a 10-minute timer each night after they’re in bed. You might be surprised how much you can accomplish during this uninterrupted time. Plus, you may realise that you’re a happier mom when you’re not constantly stressed about the state of your home.
Most importantly, remember that this challenging and chaotic stage of life is temporary. With patience, time, and professional counselling if needed, you will be okay!
Next month, I’ll share my tips to help parents of school-age children, pre-teens, and teens. Stay tuned!